Monday, June 20, 2005

and because PC keeps mentioning it.

I'm sure some people are probably wondering by now just what the fuck the "bobbi shirt" is. well, allow me to lay that mystery to rest as best I can.

back in 2000, I met John/Dragon while working out in California on contract work for what was VA Linux at the time (VA Software now, VA Research initially...) doing the front-end design for

in the spring of 2002, John had flown out to attend the Linux World Expo with a bunch of us who were at the time running the booth. PC drove up to attend, as it was in New York, and he was living in New Jersey at the time I believe. I'd known PC for a few years already at that point.

anyway... we ended up renting 2 hotel rooms in Hopatkong for whatever reasons that PC probably remembers better than I do... Kenny was with us, and my friend Bastien, who had flown over from England (he's actually French, but was living in England at the time).

so... John being his normal cocky self, had made the bet that nobody could hack his laptop, and to prove the bet, left it in our hotel room and went off to sleep in the other room. the combination of I think mostly PC and Bastiens skills, maybe Kenny's and probably not much of mine, I don't remember... but we got the laptop booted into single user mode, blah blah... we got access. so as a practical joke, (again, ask PC for the details, I think it was him) someone got the idea to set up his desktop to wait for like 15 minutes of use and then open up a porn video, fullscreen, playing, with sound etc.

this was the very video that was to become the start of a private in-joke that spread like wildfire around the LWCE convention floor, within our social circles.

you see, the video starred a beautiful girl named Bobbi who was, as she stated in the video, from Colorado and just turned 18.

the actual execution of the joke fell far far short of the infamy the video received... John had the lightning reflexes of a shaolin monk and managed to close the video before nary a few frames had hit the screen. this could have had something to do with his wife sitting right next to him... who knows. ;)

anyway... the now (in)famous opening line of the video is as follows:
"hi... my name is bobbi... I'm 18 years old... I'm from Colorado... and today.... I'm gonna get my ass fucked."

this was (for obvious reasons) shortened to a simple "hi, my name is bobbi..." which became an inside joke that would be spoken as a sort of greeting whenever we ran into each other... (person 1): "hi, my name is bobbi..." (person 2): *starts giggling uncontrollably* "I'm 18 years old..." (person 3): "I'm from colorado..." (person 4): "and today...." (person 5): (by this point everyone is laughing) "what the heck are you guys talking about?"

whereupon we'd have to usher the unsuspecting victim off to see the video and hence become a part of the inside joke. ;P

hi, my name is bobbi...

so, with that said... we decided to make a t-shirt for those of us who attended the expo to commemorate the event... but never got around to it for a number of reasons. the shirt still lives on as an inside joke, and something that most everyone who heard the joke still longs for.

so, without further ado... the design of the shirt:
bobbi t-shirt design

that's the best copy I have of it... I never actually made a hi-res or vector copy to send to a printer to have the shirt made.

one of these days maybe. I still know a few people who keep asking for one.

oh, and we can't forget this; the actual words that inspired a legend:
mp3 of hi, my name is bobbi...

(blame it on PC... he's the one that kept bringing it up. ;) heh blame it on John/Dragon too, he's the one who first showed us the video.)


JStressman said...


sorry!! I typed the words up above... you should have known. ;P

Anonymous said...

Stop being so humble big boy! We all know it was you and you alone that hacked into that computer. And if it wasn't technically you, then it was just being in the presence of your almighty brain power that allowed those other fools to figure it out.

JStressman said...


oh dear, I've been figured out. ;P


in truth, I'm not a big hacker. I'm just not wired to be a real good programmer or technical person in that sense... it requires a very precise syntactical and numerical type of memory that I certainly don't possess.

I could very easily book a system into single user mode, edit the passwd file in vi to create an empty password and then login as that user... or even simply login in single user mode as a kernel parameter at boot, where I wouldn't need any password etc.

but hacking a computer when you have physical access to it is night and day different than cracking a computer remotely... which, unless you're a script kiddie, who are lower and less skilled than piles of dog shit in the back yard... you'd actually have to have somewhat advanced programming skills on top of in depth knowledge of programs and possible buffer overflow exploits available on certain ports... and how to insert code into those buffer overflows, and use that code to spawn yourself a remote root shell...

hacking is not REMOTELY as glorious as it appears in the movie Hackers. it's generally just text and number scrolling by the on the screen. wooptydoo.

not to mention that a lot of "real" hackers hate using that word. you crack systems when you're entering "illegally". hacking is what you do when you're a skilled computer user who is hacking out an elegant solution to a problem etc.

but as of late, the ignorant masses have taken the word and abused it until it's common meaning is now that of "cracker". and not in the whiteboy or saltine sense.

Anonymous said...

what was the porno exactly called?

JStressman said...

shit... good question.

I actually knew at one point. :(

if I weren't utterly non-motivated at the moment, I'd go search through some years old IRC logs to hunt it down... but as the case may be, it's 1:20am... I'm sitting drinking Coronas, watching stupid movies and eating microwave Dinty Moore meals because I felt like I looked too crappy to go out tonight, on top of feeling completely drained of life.

"oh yeah, life goes on... long after the thrill... of living is gone."

Anonymous said...

o, well get back to me when you can. I vaguely remember seeing that one porno but I lost it and now I can't find it. O well.

Anonymous said...

I also saw that one film, or parts of it, on a friends computer about two years ago. Ofcourse his computer crashed and now the film is lost forever... If somebody could track it down it would be cool. That girl , Bobbi, was amazingly beautiful and something like that warms a cold norwegians heart (and other vital parts) when it's getting colder and darker up here.

JStressman said...

I have a copy of it somewhere, archived on a CD. It's around 130MB, but that should be easy to host on what of the many new file sharing websites.

It's just a matter of digging it up now.

I'd even tracked down the name of the original video it was from, but the name escapes me at the moment.

Anonymous said...

Hehe :) Okey. I just hope you can recover it then. -Norway-

Anonymous said...

Her name is Paizley Adams aka Cassidy Rae.

Anonymous said...

Download BitLord or another file sharing program

Go to
Search for colorado (in the porn section)
It'll be nr. 2 on the list
Size: 110.92 MiB
Download it ;-)

No I'm not a perv, I just like to dig up stuff on the internet that people can't find ;)

JStressman said...

haha... awesome. :D

Downloading another copy of it right now.

(I didn't feel like trying to find the 1 cd I had it archived on out of the hundreds in a box in the basement.)

JStressman said...

PC just pointed out her wikipedia page. :D

Fun times. :)

Anonymous said...

can somone post another link to the video? i can't get ahold of the one on pirate bay.

Anonymous said...

Here you go! I actually went backwards...saw the video, thought she was very beautiful and googled one of her aliases...
bobbie adore, paizley adams, something-bunz....